How to Be A Great Coach’s Wife

Behind every great coach there stands a great coach’s wife.

But it is definitely true.  You never see us but we are there.


We love our coaches and we are proud of them. It takes a lot of hard work to become a great coach’s wife. Time and dedication become a major factor. For those of us who marry into the profession, it doesn’t happen overnight but it is a slow learning process.

I compare marrying a coach to moving to another country. You find that suddenly you must learn a new language to survive a discussion from day to day. The new language is called X’s and O’s. you need to learn the numbers that go along with each X and O. As the seasons change, the numbers will change. If you take time to learn the basic patterns of the language, you can quite possibly become an expert and can spot penalties or errors. Besides the language, you must learn a new time schedule. Fall, winter, summer and spring turn into football, basketball, track and baseball. As the seasons change you must learn new holidays such as two-a-days, tournaments, meets and of course the BIG ONE…playoffs.


Oh and I forgot one of the most important… off-season!

Of course there is one advantage to the new seasons. Instead of having a wardrobe for just winer and summer, you now get to have a wardrobe for each sports season. Looking for a color that will flatter you? FORGET IT! You will find my wardrobe in the basic school color. And it never fails that when you change schools, the color is never the same. Just try dying “kelly green” to maroon…

So, you have mastered the language and adjusted to a new time schedule, now it is time to toughen the skin.

This was my hardest adjustment, and it may take some many years to develop. The verbal abuse heaped upon Coaches ranks only next to the President our Country. There will be times you do not want to accept the fair weather fans and their opinions and will want to sit on the visitor’s side. Maybe it will be easier to listen to them abuse the enemy rather than my coach. You will not be the only wife who has this problem. But, when you toughen up, you will be able to sit calmly in the midst of the verbal accusations and realize it does not matter because you know he is the greatest!

If you have adjusted so far, you are nearly there!

Now it is time to emotionally accept sports. The old saying “It’s not whether you win or lose” is a bunch of hogwash. Especially when you live with a winner or loser. Some have no idea what is like to LIVE football, basketball, baseball or other sports every day. Those trite words, “The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat” come alive from week to week.

Is it worth it all? YOU BET!

I would not trade places for anything. Where else can you receive an ultimate high of being a part of instilling pride in the heart of a 15-18 year old? Hearing the words, “Did you see me Coach? I DID IT!”. These are moments you treasure for a lifetime.

When you see me sitting in the stands, or standing on the sidelines (my normal spot), yelling my head off, or keeping to myself and you ask, “Do you have someone playing?”, I proudly smile and respond “Yep, he’s the one in the coach’s uniform.” I love my coach and am so proud of him in everything he masters on but mostly off the playing field.


Photography By Erik Williams

This article is inspired by Linda Long out of Post, Texas. Thank you for inspiring myself and many others!